Everything's Gone Wrong

Everything just sucks so hard right now. I can't even think clearly. 

I went to my fees night today, and well, yeah... It didn't go well. The confidence I built up over the summer completely fell flat on its face and whoopsie-doo, I am back to being that shy, marginalized student that no one talks to. I know right.

And then, when I look at the Volleyball game schedule, of which needs my attendance, I'm even more stressed at the fact that there's consecutive games that severely needs my managing, disregarding the fact that I'm ridiculously busy trying to get everything done for my Bio and Eng summer assignments.

Plus, I am so close to being depressed. Like tip me over and I'm gone to retreating into myself, wallowing in dark thoughts that sends me into a fit, in which I can't stop crying.

I hate my classes. I want to drop them and stop trying to do well in school when I know I won't be going anywhere besides that. Can I really be a doctor with how badly I do with standardized tests? Is that fair? I know the potential's in me, but with my confidence shattered into a million un-collectable pieces, how will I ever advance in my studies. In my life?

Percy, my hedgehog, is experiencing some trouble with quilling. His whole back is almost bald and I feel so bad that I haven't been taken care of him as well as I should've. And I tried my best! The breeder didn't say anything else other than to give Percy his food. No recommendations of which food I should be feeding him for a good diet and how often. She just thrusted a bag of kibble to me and told me to feed him that. Now I effed up with his diet and he's suffering. I can't even go to the vet 'til Friday.

I am so fucking depressed and sad and I feel like I can't handle being an adult anymore. I have no confidence. I am wrecked. I just can't anymore. There's so much BS in my life right now. I feel like an over-privileged kid complaining and that sucks even more.

Anyway, to make myself feel better, some ridiculously heterosexual football things that go on: