Sweet Emotion

Ever since I learned about the controversies surrounding Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines video, I decided to check exactly what the fuss was all about. And so, I clicked on the video and began my descent into a horrified viewer at the amount of misogyny packed into one video, one song.  But rather that bring up the same old complaints, the same accusations against Robin Thicke and what a poor example of a human being, father, and husband he is, I am more peeved at the complacency of people taking this video as no more than a summer feel-good song. Like really, What The Flying Fuck. Yes, these people may not exactly support the things said on the video or the images portrayed, the fact that they are willingly listening to it without thinking that it's wrong is what terrifies me. Then, of course, they try to defend the video and Robin Thicke with the same old line, "If you don't like it, don't watch it." ajdfjkashdfjkahdlfjahkjdhfkjahruthajdkfhakjfnavkjdf...

Everything just sucks so hard right now. I can't even think clearly.  I went to my fees night today, and well, yeah... It didn't go well. The confidence I built up over the summer completely fell flat on its face and whoopsie-doo, I am back to being that shy, marginalized student that no one talks to. I know right. And then, when I look at the Volleyball game schedule, of which needs my attendance, I'm even more stressed at the fact that there's consecutive games that severely needs my managing, disregarding the fact that I'm ridiculously busy trying to get everything done for my Bio and Eng summer assignments. Plus, I am so close to being depressed. Like tip me over and I'm gone to retreating into myself, wallowing in dark thoughts that sends me into a fit, in which I can't stop crying. I hate my classes. I want to drop them and stop trying to do well in school when I know I won't be going anywhere besides that. Can I really be a doctor wit...

I feel ridiculously fucking shitty fuck fuck fuck I hate that I'm such a lazy mothereffin' couch potato that can't be bothered to get off her ass and frickin' do something about her grades. UGHHHHHHHH. Basically, I just had one of my epiphanies again and I just hate my life so much, I'm literally going to break down. There's this stupid constricting feeling in my chest, like anxiety or some shit and I just want it to go the fuck away because it's no help at all and I hate feeling anxious for no reason. I am shitting myself over my SAT scores. The thing is, I've already taken them twice and the first two times, all I did was laze around and not do anything productive to actually help me with my scores. I got the same frickin' scores over and over again. Like, what the flying fuck. On my PSAT and both my SAT scores. Not to mention my atrocious SAT subject test scores, wherein I just bombed my biology stuff because I refused to study BECAUSE I WAS S...